Can You Be a Sugar Baby if You're Ugly
City Girls once famously said, "I'll never snitch on daddy!" which I think sums up my experience in the sugar baby/sugar daddy realm very well. This special kind of "relationship" revolves entirely around discretion and trust. I, personally, use the infamous website <seekingarrangements.com> and one of their features includes restricting one from viewing a saccharide daddy account's pictures. The sugar daddy and then may give y'all (the sugar baby) exclusive access to their photos when they are interested in you. At first, I was pretty weirded out by the fact that some profiles didn't even permit you run across the banking company business relationship owner before talking to them, but somewhen, I familiarized myself with the thought that some of these people have a reputation to uphold and cannot be caught on a website similar this. To even further reinforce this idea of confidentiality, the website automatically deletes messages, interests, and favourites subsequently 180 days. The "interests" function allows me to see who has viewed my contour and the "favourites" tab shows me who has bookmarked my business relationship.
While a majority of women have tried to split themselves from this "gold digger" stereotype, some, including myself, actively seek to fulfil the function today equally their own form of empowerment. If men are going to objectify women, we might as well profit from it. In that philosophy, I can come across the effect of perpetuating the male gaze in a patriarchal society. However, I see it every bit a game and gold coins are chiming, as an ode for me to collect them.
At present onto the juicy stuff!
Being a sugar baby goes hand-in-paw with both fun and expensive experiences. In one case I had a sugar daddy take my friends and me out for the night. Later a $1200 Copacabana nib, bottle service at some random Toronto club, and some extra assart, my friends and I were on our merry way home for the dark (no strings attached). Of course, this is i of the more happy-get-lucky dates that I've had. With that being said, in that location are various types of sugar daddies: the ones who like taking you lot out with no expectation of returned favours (my favourite), the ones who are on PPD (pay per engagement) basis, the ones who offering weekly allowance in return for companionship, and finally the arranged union. The arranged union sugar daddy is an feel I've only encountered once (he literally chosen it that). He is willing to commit himself to yous entirely, but in render wants, essentially, a stay-at-home wife. This sugar daddy told me, "just accept information technology [the offer] and somewhen yous will larn to beloved me forth the way". For some obvious reasons, I did not go through with information technology fully. However, he did offer me a Waterfront Condo on the Queens Quay…I should telephone call him.
Behind all the good, however, lies the bad. There are quite a lot of problematic points with <seekingarrangements.com>, evidently, one of which being its very binary civilisation. The terms themselves, sugar DADDY and saccharide MAMA are very exclusive. Too, it just generally follows a very patriarchal custom. Most of the time, information technology'south men messaging (even though I accept it clearly set up to interested in men and women). Don't become me wrong, saccharide mamas do be; the one fourth dimension one of these unicorns messaged me, it was an amazing conversation. Unfortunately, this organisation did non go through equally I ghosted her after her persistence on meeting in the middle of a pandemic.
Being a woman of colour, I do detect a lot of fetishization effectually my Asian-ness, a lot of "hey :) I honey your ethnic smile" and "let's take hold of sushi and afterwards, I can wrap y'all upwards similar a California scroll". First of all, I'g Chinese. Second, these types of messages really make yous wonder if men believe this will work on a woman. Yeah, I'yard here for the money, but I still have standards, man.
I would say sixty% of the time though, the carbohydrate people who are messaging me are quite chivalrous and charming. They want to go to know you, how you are, what are things you savour doing, and all of that kinda stuff. There actually is a spectrum though; some conversations feel similar whatsoever other dating site, but some experience like I'1000 in a boardroom coming together: very professional person and a lot of negotiating going on.
After laying out all the good, the bad, and the ugly from my subjective experience equally a sugar baby, this is by no means encouragement or discouragement to seek out one of these arrangements yourself. It's fun and exhilarating, only likewise very hitting-or-miss piece of work. Whatever you lot cull to do though, my ii-step guideline is as follows: always notify your trusted friends nearly your excursions (my location is always turned on and I accept friends on stand-past) and to never become into someone'southward motorcar or abode on the offset engagement (or any date, judge for yourself). Ultimately, a proficient dominion of thumb (for the purpose of meeting any new person) is to be wary of them and your surround. Be safe and accept fun!
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Source: https://www.hercampus.com/school/ryerson/good-bad-and-ugly-being-sugar-baby/